Third Party Aggregator Giving & Processing Fees

We have a large number of donors who contribute through a third party - a workplace giving vendor like Benevity or Cybergrants, or via the United Way, or any number of charity processors, etc - and in many cases these aggregators deduct a processing fee.


For example: Jane Smith gives us a $100.00 donation via payroll deduction through a third party, who then deducts a $3.50 processing fee, and we end up with a check (or ACH) from the third party for $96.50.


So what do we enter for a gift amount? $100.00 or $96.50?


The part of me who wants to please the donor says $100.00, because that's what the donor intends to give and that's what the donor would want on their acknowledgement letter. (in most cases, they get a tax letter from the aggregator, so we don't have to worry about tax benefits.)


The part of me who wants to cleanly reconcile with accounting says $96.50 because that's what's going into the bank.


Thoughts?