Memorial Donations - How to handle

Lauren Fardella

Hi,

We receive many memorial tribute donations at my organization.  Recently, we have been discussing when or if we should reach out to the tribute's family.    We would wait a few months before reaching out, but we are thinking we need to receive a significant number of donations in order to put a plan in place.    Initially, we thought 10 or more donations, but sometimes, we get 3 or 4 right away then a month or so later 3 or 4 trickle in.


I am wondering if anyone has a practice in place for handling the follow up on tributes

JoAnn Strommen

In my years in RE I have seen two types - the first is from a few donors who make a memorial gift when someone they know dies. These tend to be lone gifts and we notify family at the same time we receipt the gift.


For specified memorials where multiple gifts are anticipated I've usually reached out to the family within the first week.  I've let them know I will send them donor lists weekly or as needed.  For one memorial scholarship I've been sending weekly lists for a parent who died since the beginning of year.  Memorial gifts are still coming in steadily.  For another one, the gifts quit after a couple weeks. 


As I know one of the people who had a memorial for her brother who did not hear for several months, she was disappointed/frustrated to not hear from the organization that gifts were received and who donors were.


I think letting the family know in a timely manner is important so that families can also reach out to thank those donors. Sure it's a bit more work but IMO it's needed.

Elizabeth Perron

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Austen Brown

I agree with JoAnn - there are multiple types of memorial gifts.  We acknowledge each tribute gift as it is received to the tribute/family.  Only in special circumstances or when it is requested do we provide a weekly tribute report to the tribute's family.  

Stacy Dominick

We create a letter that explains a list will be sent weekly and then we create a tribute report and  send that on a weekly basis to the acknowledge.  As new donations come in we create just the report and mail.

Dariel Dixon

We send out monthly letters to the family.  We sometimes have a problem with finding the contact person for the family.  But we always try to contact the family if we have a contact person regardless of the number of gifts.

Allison Williams

Hi Lauren, 


We reach out to the family immediately if they name us to receive donations in the obituary. We send a letter explaining that we will send a list of donors weekly. After about 6 months, we only send letters to the family by request. If we get donations in memory of a person whose family did not name us, we still send out notification letters as donations come in. In our organization, there is one family member that is designated as the primary contact. All tribute notifications will go to them, but we will also send letters to other individuals by request (for example, if a parent dies and someone requests Child A to be notified but Child B is the primary contact, we will send letters to both). 


Just for context, we are a hospice organization, and memorial donations are the majority of our gifts. 


Allison

Lauren Fardella

Thank you all!  Do you contact the family member via phone as well?  Especially if there are lets say, more than 10 donations coming in for a tribute?     Or there is a significant amount of money brought in for that particular tribute?

Lauren Fardella

Allison Williams:

Hi Lauren, 


We reach out to the family immediately if they name us to receive donations in the obituary. We send a letter explaining that we will send a list of donors weekly. After about 6 months, we only send letters to the family by request. If we get donations in memory of a person whose family did not name us, we still send out notification letters as donations come in. In our organization, there is one family member that is designated as the primary contact. All tribute notifications will go to them, but we will also send letters to other individuals by request (for example, if a parent dies and someone requests Child A to be notified but Child B is the primary contact, we will send letters to both). 


Just for context, we are a hospice organization, and memorial donations are the majority of our gifts. 


Allison

Allison Williams‍  we a Home Care and Hospice organization    So yes, memorial donations are a BIG part of our revenue.  Thanks!

Stacy Dominick

I do not contact them based on the dollar amount.  We don't share dollar amounts per contribution only the name and address.  We would only give the total amount given is asked.

Lauren Fardella

Stacy Dominick‍  we would not be sharing individual amounts, but if we see that $1,000 or more was brought in total among lets say  7 donor, than my VP of Development was thinking about reaching out.


Likewise, if we see 10 or more donations come in for an individual , regardless of how much is raised), she feels that constitutes a phone call, maybe a month or two after death. 

Dariel Dixon

That's a tough call Lauren Fardella‍.  It's a sensitive time for the family, and their priorities are elsewhere.  We run the reports on a monthly basis as to not inundate the family while they are grieving.  That also gives them time to attend to other matters.  While I understand the sentiment behind calling, it might be worth considering waiting to reach out for a while.  A month or two is good I think.  I think it also depends on the relationship as well.  I would definitely not call the family unless we have a good relationship with them.  Maybe a handwritten note (these are so underrated IMO) or another touch.


I don't think dollar amount is the key metric here.  I think the more important number is number of gifts.  I'd look at that more than anything.  But, the nature of the relationship is most important, especially if the family has no known relationship with your organization before the death of the person in question.


 

Jennifer Donlevie

We have many memorials here at the Ronald McDonald House.  For folks who are already constituents in our database, we first send a condolence card for their loss.   Then if we are designated as the beneficiary of the memorial, we send a thank you letter...no matter who it is, offering condolences and thanking them for designating us as the beneficiary at this difficult time.  Memorials can often lead to additional prospects whether it be the family or someone contributing to the memorial.  If we feel there is potential for development, we may have the development director reach out to the family and then follow up in a few months or 6 months, offering a visit to meet with them or inviting them to take a tour of the House.    Also for larger memorials we offer them the opportunity to have a brick placed in their loved one's honor at no additional costs, since the memorial brought in the funds.  For large memorials I use weekly letters, copy the obituary into the tribute record and set up a tribute.  For a one time memorial, I will send out a card to the acknowledgee and a thank you to the donor.

Paula Dumas

We have many memorial donations. I recently ran into a person who's husband had recently passed away and asked all memorials go to our church. We have a volunteer who sends out acknowledgements to each family as well as to the deceased's family member. Our volunteer was sick for a couple of weeks and the acknowledgements were delayed. I say this because the deceased's family member was looking for acknowledgement as well. It turned into a mess quickly. I encourage you to send out acknowledgements to both sides each week. Once a month is just too long.    

William Bogie

I wanted to pose a different question to the group. My organization receives a lot of memorial gifts but historically had not done much by way of cultivating those donors to make them regular donors rather than one-time only donors. After doing some research, members of our team developed a plan for cultivating these donors including sending out stewardship reports to let the donors know the impact of their gifts. 


Now we are told that we must first get permission of the family of the deceased before we can send a stewardship letter to these donors. That does not seem right to me because it means that the family is deciding for each donor whether the donor would be contacted and given the chance to donate again. Should not that decision should be the donor's decision?

JoAnn Strommen

Interesting.  Who has said you need permission of the family?  How do you receive your memorial gifts.


We have not pursued memorial donors for additional gifts.  If we were to do it, I immediately see two different types that we've had.

1. gifts sent directly to our organization from the donor - IMO these could be considered for further cultivation/anniversary gifts. They have the tiniest relationship to the org. Stewardship reports/communications may build a larger relationship.
2. gifts sent to the family and then forwarded to us for the family member's memorial.  I personally would not consider pursuing these people. They really do not have any relationship with the org.

Look at it personally. I'd be okay with report/letter on impact.  Not too happy about receiving more direct solicitations because of memorial gift i gave.

Nora Langolf

Another question on this topic. What do you share with the family of deceased? Name and Address but not amount, correct?

At our university, the college deans ask for full information. Is it ever appropriate to share the dollar amount of the gift? Does anyone have a written policy on what is shared with whom?


Thanks!


Nora

JoAnn Strommen

We share name and address info.  We do not share individual gift amounts with the family.  I did run into a situation where family requested that info. Father had been professor here and there were some larger gifts. They had gotten dollar amounts for their mother's memorial last year with previous dba. What we did was told them which donors had given over specific amount. I think we used $250. Did not say how much any specific gift was. 


If the memorial gifts go to a university department fund, the donor info including amount is included on monthly reports provided to the department chair so that they can do their own thank you/stewardship. They are reminded that the info is for purpose of thank you, not to be shared.

Jennifer Donlevie

Hi,

We provide name and address along with total number of donors and
total amount of funds in memorial.  We have opportunities we
offer such as inscribed bricks if the memorial funds reach a
certain amount.  We never disclose individual amounts not even
to board members.  We tell them they should thank everyone
equally!

Aldera Chisholm

We send a card to the family after about two weeks if there are multiple donations, and we let them know we'll follow up if there are more. We don't give individual amounts, we use a phrasing like "the following donors made a kind gift in memory of..."   We use an online service that allows the donor to choose to have an e-card sent to the family automatically (they enter the card info, etc) - so if they have done that, we do not send an additional card.


Sometimes we aren't able to get a family contact, in which case, I check the obituary online, and send the card to the family care of the funeral home. We send thank you's to the memorial donors, but we do not include them in direct mail after that... unless... we do have a handful of regular donors who always make their donation in memory of someone. Those people we tend to recognize on the second or third gift, and go ahead and send them DM because our vibe is that they are choosing to support our library because of personal interest, and choosing to also recognize a friend. 

Heather Pauli

We also provide just the donor name and address to the deceased's next-of-kin, never the donation amount. If there are multiple donors or multiple family members that donors have asked to be notified, I will compile a Tribute report for the primary next-of-kin (or in care of the facility that handled the funeral arrangements if no contact information was provided by the family,) that lists all the donors' names and addresses and the total dollar amount of memorial donations received, along with an offer to provide an updated report at any point in the future if additional donations are received or the family just wants to make sure they have an up-to-date donor list (especially helpful for the family if donations come in on the subsequent anniversary of the death.)